A Mindful Practice for Leaders: Moving from Resistance to Resilience

Introduction

In leadership, we face a constant barrage of challenges, pressures, and unexpected disruptions. Our default response is often to resist, to fight against the reality of a situation, wishing it were different. While born of a desire to control outcomes, this "Resistance Trap" is a primary driver of executive burnout, decision fatigue, and strategic blindness. It is an exhausting and costly cycle.

The following exercise serves as a reminder of the alternative approach. It is a 3-minute tool grounded in the principles of mindful leadership. Its purpose is to help you shift from a state of costly resistance to one of clear-eyed acceptance, not as an act of passivity, but as the essential starting point for wise and effective action.

The practice is designed to help you skillfully navigate what Prof Richard Badham and I (2020) discuss as a “Wheel of Mindfulness” framework, identifying core truths of our shared experience that lead to the tendency to resist -  the incongruity between our goals and our present reality, and the impermanence of all situations. By cultivating the qualities of Awareness, Attention, and Acceptance, we move from simply knowing that we face challenges to "knowing how" to handle them with greater clarity and resilience.

The 3-Minute Reflection Practice

1. Preparation (30 seconds)

Find a quiet moment in your day. Sit comfortably in your chair with your feet flat on the floor. Close your eyes if you wish, or soften your gaze.

Take three slow, deep breaths. With each exhale, consciously release any obvious tension in your jaw, your shoulders, your hands. Set a simple intention for this practice: to observe your inner experience with curiosity, not judgment.

Follow these questions gently. Allow the answers to arise without forcing or analysing them.

• Locate the Resistance: Bring to mind a current challenge or situation where you feel "stuck," frustrated, or tense. As you hold it in your mind, scan your body. Where do you feel the physical signature of this resistance? Is it a tightness in your chest? A knot in your stomach? A clenching in your jaw? Simply notice it. This is the direct, felt experience of incongruity.
• Name the Narrative: What is the story you are telling yourself about this situation? Pay close attention to the language of resistance: words like "should," "shouldn't," "unfair," or "impossible." As our paper explains,  we can become entrapped in our "self-narrated stories." The goal here is to apply metacognitive awareness - to see the story as a story, not an absolute truth.
• Acknowledge the Cost: Gently ask yourself, “What is this resistance costing me?” Consider the cost to your energy, clarity of thought, key relationships, and ability to see new possibilities. Acknowledging this cost creates the motivation to shift your approach.
• Open to Acceptance: Now, see if you can find just one small aspect of this reality you can accept, for this moment only. Acceptance does not mean approval or liking it. It is simply the non-judgmental acknowledgment: "This is what is true right now." It might be accepting a market reality, a team member's current capacity, or a project's delay. Take a breath and feel yourself soften around this single point of acceptance.

3. The Substantial Shift (30 seconds)

From this small foothold of acceptance, a new, more powerful question becomes possible.

The question of resistance is, “How do I fight this?” The question of acceptance is, “Given that this is the situation, what is the wisest next step?”

Notice how this new question changes the quality of your thoughts. It shifts you from the reactive, high-stress brain to the responsive, creative "wise mind," where your most effective leadership qualities reside.

So what?

We can use this practice to transform moments of frustration into moments of clarity. Resilience is not the absence of difficulty; it is the ability to bend without breaking. That ability begins with the mindful capacity to accept reality, allowing us to lead from a place of strength, wisdom, and strategic power.

Reference

King, E., & Badham, R. (2020). The Wheel of Mindfulness: a Generative Framework for Second-Generation Mindful Leadership. Mindfulness, 11, 166–176. https://doi.org/10.1007/s12671-018-0890-7